Gd advice. This is what I call Wise.

I came across this article that I would like to share =)

Did I marry the right person?

This is a very good article.
Read it. Those who are still single may learn something from here.
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
marriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
"It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing
on your mind.
Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle.
In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.
You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.
In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything.
That's why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say,"I was swept of my feet."
Think about the imagery of that expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy.
It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome (when it happens),
and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you
nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship,
but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,
"Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once
had,
you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages break down.
People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
INFIDELITY is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or
abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better.
But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE
IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
It'll NEVER just happen to you.
You can't "find" LASTING love.
You have to "make" it day in and day out.

That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy.

And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or
without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically
stronger,
certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws,
the results are predictable...

you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"...
Not just a feeling. ***

Message from Cassey:
Falling in Love is easy but what comes after it is the tough work. so pls handle with care hahaha... even the break up is tough, no matter who's the one who initiated it, both parties are hurt.
ok unless one is a bastard.